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What Do Women Want in a Man?

There is so much misguided and misleading information in our world about what women want in a man. Movies will tell the story of boy meets girl, boy sacrifices everything to be with girl, girl falls madly in love with boy, and they live happily ever after… 

That may work in the mind of a script writer, but in real life, it doesn’t at all.

And if you were to ask 10 women what they want in a man, for the most part, you’ll get 10 different answers. This analysis effort just might bring you to one “aha” moment realization about most women – they don’t even know what they want!

They will tell you that they want a nice guy, but then fall for a bad boy type. They will say that they want a man who will open doors, be courteous, kind to strangers, animals, and children, but then fall for someone who is the exact opposite. Or, they will say that it doesn’t matter how much money the guy makes, but then leave the nice, broke guy for a rich one. 

What’s a guy to do? What do women really want anyway?

The answer may surprise you, but when you get it, the lightbulb will come on and make total sense to you. And then, you will have the information that you need to attract women easily and naturally, rather than work hard for it. 

But here’s the ironic thing… 

If you are reading this article, that’s a problem. But don’t stop reading! The fact that you are reading this means that you don’t quite have the right attitude about women just yet. But that’s okay.  We all need a little help when it comes to the subject matter of women because women are hard to understand. It can take years and decades to figure them out if you don’t have a little help. 

Getting back to the type of guy that women are naturally attracted to, there is a question that may shed light on the problem…

Do you think that the type of guy who women are really attracted to would read an article like this?

Nope. Never. 

They don’t have to read this article because they already at least subconsciously know what you’re about to learn here. Most of these guys subconsciously understand it without even being consciously aware of it. Not only that, they don’t really even care what women want! That’s the attitude that you need to develop too. Get yourself to the point where you don’t really care anymore, and then almost as if by magic, you will suddenly become more attractive to them. 

If you are reading this, you are probably either new to the dating scene, or you’ve been in relationships that haven’t worked. Perhaps you’re wondering what you did wrong and what to do next time. Regardless, you’ll learn something from this article that will improve your relationship with any woman who you want. 

Let’s get started with the first thing that women want, but don’t know it and will rarely admit to it…

Women Want Backbone

“I want a man who will stand up to me, not let me push him around, verbally fight with me and then make up!” 

Have you ever heard a woman say this? No? 

Of course not.

But that is what they secretly want, regardless of what they tell you…

It’s well-known and even documented that women test men on purpose.

Do you know why they want you to stand up to them and call them on their shenanigans? Do you know why they seem to purposely create tension and uncertainty in the relationship? 

One reason is, oddly enough, it creates attraction. 

Women actually want a little tension, controversy, and problems before they get serious into a relationship because subconsciously for them, they must know before they get into a relationship if you are: 1) Too violent), 2) Insecure, and 3) Able to stick in the relationship when things get rough and rocky. This is why almost every woman tests a man early on – she wants to figure out who you are and how you handle relationship stress… 

But what’s another reason why a woman wants a man with backbone instead of the super nice guy who will cower to her every whim? As it turns out, it’s a deep-rooted, DNA level, you’re-never-going-to-change-this thing about her. It has to do with survival and her deep need to find someone who will provide for her and the potential children that you might have with her. It’s so deeply embedded in her psyche that she’ll probably never even realize it herself. 

This is one of the reasons why a good girl will leave a good boy for a bad boy. The bad boy type will have a lot more backbone. The bad boy type won’t take any crap from her, and she’ll interpret that to mean that he won’t take any crap from anyone outside of the relationship either. Her subconscious  mind logic goes, if he stands up to her for himself, then he’ll stand up to anyone, and that’s a good thing. He will stand up for himself, his family, and for her too against anyone outside of the family that is created. 

This doesn’t mean that you have to go out, buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle, have Bubba tattoo some skull image on your arm, and start smoking. But what it does mean is that you must create a new attitude about yourself regarding women. Here’s a shortlist of what you need to do:

  • Stand up for yourself in every area of life – at work and in your social life.
  • Don’t put any woman on a pedestal – you are worthy of any woman. 
  • Start honoring and respecting yourself more than anyone else, including her.
  • Be more selfish.
  • Don’t be a push-over.
  • Get fit, strong and healthy.
  • Have a vision for yourself and go for it.

What else do women want? 

Women Want Self-Confidence

Backbone is a must. But so is confidence. 

Physically, your posture is extremely important. Self-help guru Tony Robbins talks about how a very small change in posture from slouched to straight makes a huge difference. What he says is that if you smile and have good posture, it’s impossible for you to be depressed. Good posture shows strength, confidence, and a take charge aura about you. Slouched posture signifies depression, defeat, weakness and a subservient attitude. 

The truth is that women are naturally attracted to the alpha-male type who takes charge and takes the lead. And what is one trait that all alpha-male type leaders have? 

They are confident…

Their confidence oozes out of every pore of their body. They need this confidence to lead those who follow them, which, in the mindset of a woman, is her and her offspring. 

Confidence is attractive. It’s sexy. It’s alluring. And even when a guy or girl is confident but screws up, if he or she pulls out of it still confident, it’s viewed as having strength of character. You can’t lose, really, even if you are overly confident! 

But how do you build confidence? What if you have been insecure your whole life, and it’s an embedded personality trait that you just can’t change? 

It’s not nearly as hard as you might think…

You see, we all have about 65,000 thoughts every day, and most of them are not positive. Most of us say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. We say things like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not smart enough,” or, “I’ll never” whatever… 

The point is that most of us have been programmed since childhood to think negative thoughts. Why? The main reason is because our parents, our teachers, siblings and those of authority convinced us that we weren’t good enough. As soon as we start going to school, we are judged through a grading system from A to F. We quickly learn that there are other students who are better, smarter, stronger, taller, or bigger than us. All this eats away at our self-esteem unless we were the top in our class. If you weren’t in the top 1%, then it was made clear to you that you weren’t. 

It’s a wonder how any of us came out of the public school system without emotional damage! No wonder why so many of us struggle with self-confidence.  But again, what can you do? 

First, you must realize that you were born worthy. You had nothing to prove to anyone. If you are here, you are worthy. The other thing is that you get what you believe. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can… Or whether you think you can’t… You’re Right!” He understood the power of belief. He understood the power of thought – that if you focus on what you want, you will get it. 

So, start monitoring those negative thoughts that you have throughout the day. And when you catch yourself saying one of them, challenge it. Say, “What evidence is there that this is true?” Or “I first thought this when I was a child. Am I going to let a child tell me who I am now?” 

You may find that some event can trigger a negative thought. Trace the event back to when it first happened, challenge it, and replace it with a positive thought. Start saying positive affirmations to yourself on a regular basis. But only say them when it feels good to say them. Here are some examples:

  • I am worthy.
  • I am good enough. 
  • I am smart enough.
  • I can do anything I set my mind to. 
  • I am attractive to women. 
  • I am fit. 
  • I am healthy. 
  • I am strong. 
  • Women love me. 
  • I feel at ease with all women. 
  • I am self-confident. 

Your thoughts help to create your reality. But most of us have many Automatic Negative ThoughtS (ANTS) in our brains, and we don’t do anything about it! Don’t let that be you. Take control of your thoughts through your conscious mind… 

If you want to attract women, you must let go of all insecurity and become self-confident. But what else is important? 

Women Want an Ambitious Guy

Lots of men are under the impression that all women want are rich guys – the more money you have, the better. That’s partly true, but the fact is that it’s really not just the money that counts – it’s who you become along the way of becoming rich that matters most… 

Men with money are much more attractive in the eyes of a woman, not because of the money, but because of who they believe the guy is. Having money and being successful, to women, is a sign of a guy who is already self-confident, already a leader, already successful, and someone who can be a great provider. 

Since this is true, does it mean that if you’re not rich and successful yet, you’re out of luck with women? 


If you are ambitious, if you have a vision and stick to it, and if you are passionate about becoming successful, to most women, that’s all that matters. The more that you can be inspired by your own life, the more determined you are to “make it” one day, then the more an interested woman is likely to believe in you too. Many women will enjoy supporting you emotionally and otherwise while you are on your journey to success… 

There are many other things that women want, such as a guy who is trustworthy and dependable and who has a great sense of humor. The three things we already covered are the main ones: backbone, self-confidence and ambition.

But the problem with this whole article is that it shouldn’t be something that you even want to know. You should be so wrapped up in creating your own life of success and happiness, without her, that she is then naturally attracted to you. You cannot force attraction. You create it. 

In other words, focus on yourself, and she will come. Build the life of your dreams, and she will come. Be happy with or without her, and she will come. Make yourself so attractive that you don’t even have to worry about reading an article about “What women want” anymore… 

When you create the life of your dreams with or without her, so many women will be attracted to you that you won’t know what to do! 

And that’s a great position to be in…

You Can Learn to be Attractive

Some guys know how to be attractive intuitively. Others simply need a little help. The good news is that now, you can learn, practice and become an attractive guy, easily.  

Words from an article don’t teach – only experience does. That’s why we created Embrazo’s social dance classes. It’s the perfect answer to the long-time problem of gaining confidence and attractiveness in the eyes of women.

At Embrazo’s social dance classes, we help you build confidence, lead and feel at ease amongst beautiful women. Imagine having the chance to dance with many different beautiful women by design. After just a few hours of social dance, you’ll get used to standing up straight and proud, you’ll feel at ease with approaching women, and you’ll see that they enjoy being in your company because of your new-found confidence and attractiveness.

Join our classes and discover the new you.