You may be thinking that men are easy to figure out – that what they look for in a woman is a lot easier to answer than what women look for in men.
But the good men out there are a little harder to understand. They too can be a little mysterious as to what they really want in a woman. And just like with women, some of them don’t even know what they want! The end result can be a failed relationship, and this is evidenced by the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce…
It takes two to tango, two to make a relationship work, and if either one is lacking, unfortunately, the relationship will probably end sooner rather than later.
But once you understand what men really want, it will be much easier to find the right mate and to have a wonderful, beautiful relationship.
So, what do men really want?
Let’s start with the basics…
Men Do Want a Partner
This should come as good news to you! Some claim that all men are programmed to mate with every female that he sees, so it’s almost in his blood to cheat. And although that may be true for unevolved males, it’s not true for most men – even the ones who might appear to be unfaithful.
Men who cheat and cheat often are never happy. At the root cause of their problem is insecurity, lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, and a general disregard for themselves and others.
The man who is already happy in his life wants a happy partner to share his life with. He might admire a beautiful woman who passes by, but that doesn’t mean that he wants to cheat. The visual attraction factor for a man is usually stronger than with a woman. So, if there was one thing that a man would like his partner to know is that just because he might admire another woman, his heart is only for her.
When you fully understand what a man wants, it will make it a lot easier to create a strong, long-lasting, loving relationship.
So, what do men really want?
Men Want a Self-Confident Woman
A man who lacks self-confidence may have a harder time in life than a woman who has the same level of insecurity, but confidence is very important for both sexes…
A confident woman, to most men, is very attractive. It’s a sign that she values herself and takes care of herself. What this means for the guy is that she will value him if he can raise his level of importance enough to get her to give him a shot at a relationship.
Men like a challenge. They like to chase. That’s in their DNA. They want to find a woman who they think may be “out of their league” because he too is looking for the best possible mate. It’s another subconscious desire which at its roots has to do with finding the best mate to have children with, whether the man wants them or not.
Therefore, it’s important for women to work on themselves in order to gain the confidence that they need.
Improve Your Posture and Poise
One of the best ways to improve your self-confidence is to improve how you carry yourself – your posture.
Posture is one of the first things that a man sees in a woman without even realizing it. A woman with poor posture indicates that she lacks self-confidence and doesn’t think highly of herself. Whereas, a woman with good posture shows confidence and poise. From the man’s perspective, she is a woman who is worthy of his attention.
At Embrazo, we teach both men and women how to carry themselves and how to move with elegance. This automatically projects confidence. When people look at themselves in the mirror and see a proud reflection of themselves, they feel more confident on the inside.
Use the Power of Positive Thinking
In another article we discussed how all of us have around 65,000 thoughts every day and that most of those thoughts are not good ones! In other words, the thoughts that we normally have are words of self-doubt, worry, and self-criticism. We are usually much harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.
And that is absolutely true, especially for women. In the past and even still today, women have been objectified and put under a tremendous amount of pressure as to how they should look. If they don’t look fully attractive and beautiful 24/7, then there is something wrong with them. From how much a woman should weigh to the clothes they choose to wear; the judgment is real and can wreak havoc on anyone’s self-confidence.
So, what can you do?
First, notice the thoughts that you have about yourself during the day time. How many times per day do you say disparaging things to yourself? What are your own automatic negative thoughts? Do you unfairly compare yourself to others or to women who are models, for example?
You don’t have to dig deep into all of the negative stuff in your own past in order to build more confidence. All you have to do is to recognize that it’s never good or healthy to beat yourself up for anything. Here is a list of things you can say (affirmations) to yourself to counteract any automatic negative thoughts you may have:
- I was born worthy and have nothing to prove.
- I love myself.
- I am beautiful inside and out!
- I love who I am and who I am becoming.
- I am a great catch!
- I love being my spontaneous self.
- Men do find me attractive.
- I am very attractive.
- I love my body and I love who I am.
- I love my sense of humor.
- I love being my own, true, authentic self and to heck with anyone who doesn’t!
- I love being good to myself.
- I love everything about me.
Self-confidence is just that – it is confidence that must come from yourself – from inside of you. It’s not something outside of you – it’s in you. It’s already there inside you and the challenge is simply to let her come out. You get to create confidence or take it away with the power of your thoughts. It’s that simple.
So, choose good thoughts no matter who you think you are. Why not try it? Life is too short to not be self-confident!
Men Want Women Who Let Them Lead
Men want a woman to let him take charge and take the lead because that’s simply what they naturally do – it’s in their DNA. And the truth is, women want a man who is a self-confident leader.
A confident, self-assured, strong man is going to want a woman who will let him lead. It does not mean that you must be in submission to him. The self-confident man knows that you are his partner – and should see you as a complete and total equal. There is no need to go back to the caveman days! The human species has evolved, but men still want to take the lead and women, naturally, want to follow.
This is in no way meant to label women as “less than” at all. All great relationships have roles to play, and sometimes those roles can be switched. If you are better at finances than he is, then you can take the lead in that area, etc. A healthy relationship is about adapting together and becoming better as two than what either of you could have been alone.
At Embrazo’s dance classes, we teach both men and women that leading isn’t pushing around or forcing. When a man leads, he’s inviting the woman. By following, the woman accepts the invitation and moves on her own.
So, leading doesn’t look like the caveman version of carrying a female on his shoulder. It’s quite the opposite.
Leading and following, in our social dance classes, is exactly how it should be in life. The man leads with confidence and invites the woman to follow him. The woman, if she is interested in a relationship with that man, will gracefully follow on her own, while adding her own style and finesse.
Men Want Unconditional Love
When it really comes down to it, everyone wants unconditional love. It’s the ultimate form of love that you can give to a person. But most of us freak out with what that could mean in a relationship…
What if you were to say to your partner, “I love you so much that I give you total and absolute freedom to do what you want, when you want, and how you want”? Would you instantly regret it? Would you worry what he might do with that kind of freedom?
If you’re not used to this kind of acceptance and love for your partner, freaking out may be the accurate explanation…
But what if the tables were turned and your partner said that to you? How would that make you feel? Wouldn’t it make you love him even more? Wouldn’t it make you want to be with your partner even more?
Think about it…
If someone gave you that kind of unconditional love and really meant it, you’d think, “Gee, I’ve never had anyone give me so much freedom and love in a relationship before! I will never do anything to mess this up!”
You must have a lot of self-confidence in yourself and your partner to create this kind of a basis for your relationship, and neither of you may be ready for this to be verbally stated. But if you could approach the relationship from this foundational viewpoint of unconditional love, he will never want to leave you. But please understand that this idea of unconditional love only works for good guys – bad ones will take advantage of it. In that case, you need to show yourself unconditional love first, and boot him out of your life!
Men Want a Woman Who Loves Life
Have you ever been around somebody with a magnetic personality? Whatever room they walk into, they light it up. People take notice. Everyone can sense their love for life. It’s as if they kept their child-like personality alive and well long into their adult years…
When you love life, you naturally love everything and everyone in it. You become the life of the party – you raise the vibration of the room, and people are naturally attracted to you.
Your potential mate will be attracted to you too. He will see you as a great catch – as someone who is positive, uplifting, fun, exciting and engaged in life. You’ll be so attractive to him that he won’t be able to help himself!
This may describe who you are already which means you have an advantage. But if you’re reading this right now and this is getting you depressed because you think that this doesn’t describe you, take heart! You too can develop this kind of a magnetic, attractive personality.
Start by appreciating everything that you already have in your life. This is what almost every self-help teacher on the planet will tell you to do. They say this because it is so effective.
When you start to love yourself and love life, you will attract more people, circumstances, and events into your life to match that vibration or feeling. Really, we all have life backwards. Most of us think, “I won’t be happy until I have the perfect man in my life!” or woman… Or, we think, I won’t be happy until I get my dream car or dream house. But the way it works is that you must feel like you already have what you want to attract it, whether that be health, wealth, or the perfect guy…
How can you start to love your life more?
One thing is to create a gratitude journal. Write in it what it is that you like/love about your life and write more about what you want than what you don’t want. Write for the pleasure of writing without expectation, and you will start to notice that you naturally feel better about yourself and your life. It only takes 5 to 10 minutes a day. The act of writing has almost a magical power to it too. Don’t just try to say positive things to yourself. Write them down!
Men Prefer Women Who are Approachable
We here at Embrazo’s social dance classes teach both men and women how to build confidence and how to approach one another. The problem is that in most social situations such as a club, women think that they should be passive and let the men do all the work.
But it’s quite the opposite. In a social situation, men will scan the room looking for women who look nice, but more importantly, who are approachable. And as dense as some guys are when it comes to letting them know when you are not interested, the good guys can instantly tell if you are or not. But most of them will not approach a woman who is being overly passive. So, if you give the cold shoulder to everyone in the room, you could miss out on meeting the love of your life!
In a social situation, women need to appear interested which means not playing with her drink or getting engaged in an intense conversation with her girlfriend. The right men will think you’re not interested in them at all.
It’s hard to break old habits, so that’s why we have a class dedicated to teaching you how to make subtle but powerful eye contact with a man who you are interested in. We actually practice it, and it works!
In our class, every woman gets a chance to dance with every man and vice-versa, so the social stress is removed. When it comes to what men like and dancing, men love it when their partners are active, rather than passive. An active female partner will be tuned to what the man is trying to lead and move on her own without having to be pushed. She will add grace and elegance to the dance but not take over the lead. Men absolutely love it when the woman listens to their lead but then takes the initiative and makes the same dance beautiful. It becomes a beautiful dance together. When the woman just drags along, it’s not fun.
Given a choice between a beautiful but passive woman and a woman who is having a good time and is working “with” her partner, almost all men would choose the latter.
That’s the wonderful thing about our social dance classes. You get to practice with men in a safe setting where, since everyone knows that you’re there to practice these social skills. And, when you dance with someone who you like, the opportunity is right there.
All these things that you’re trying to improve, we teach and you can learn. Learning through practicing in a group is far better than learning through reading alone. Words do not teach – only experience does. We here at Embrazo’s social dance classes are committed to teaching men to be men, women to be women, and restoring the natural, beautiful dance of life for the good of both sexes…
Want to get started? Join today!