To make a good first impression, you have to be your best – not just look it. Women have an uncanny ability to read men. They can tell a lot about you just from observing you. They can tell if you’re active or more sedentary just from how fit you are. Or, they can tell what kind of a mood that you’re in just by observing how you’re sitting, standing or acting.
They can also tell how you feel about yourself by how you walk, how you dress and how you treat others.
You cannot not communicate who you really are. That’s why it’s so important to understand that to make an external good first impression, you must first take care of your internal self – how you think and feel about yourself. How you feel about yourself drives everything about how attractive you are to women. When you feel great about yourself, it shows and women, in general, will be more attracted to you. But when you don’t feel good about yourself, it shows too and women won’t be as attracted.
But what are some good tips to keep in mind to make a good first impression?
Let’s cover them…
Confidence radiates. It shows from across the room. Confidence means that you feel good about yourself. If you don’t feel good about yourself, how can you expect others to feel good about you?
Confidence doesn’t grow out of thin air. Some people feel completely confident, no matter what they’re doing. They’re confident when they’re right and when they’re wrong.
If you’re not among these few, the idea that you need to “be confident” can be intimidating and can actually make you less confident with yourself.
No worries. Confidence is a result of other things, which you can learn, practice and master. First, it’s a result of you knowing that you’re great. At Embrazo’s social dance classes, you’ll learn to get the best version of yourself out there. And, you’ll get to practice it with dozens of women every week.
Seeing yourself in the mirror, standing tall and proud and dancing with beautiful women will surely boost your confidence.
Confidence is on the inside and it’s what matters most. What can you do on the outside to make a good first impression?
They say that the clothes make the man. Whether that is true or not can be debated. But the hard cold fact is that how you are dressed is usually the first thing that a woman will notice about you. If you dress slovenly, she will instantly think that you either 1) don’t have the ability to afford nice clothes or 2) don’t care about how you appear in public. Either thought is not good. The instant thing that she thinks is, “I would not want to be seen in public with that guy!”
If you don’t dress well, you can’t make a good first impression…
Does this mean that you must go out and buy a $1,000 suit and wear it in public all the time to attract women? No. But it does mean that it’s probably time to throw out some of the older clothes that you have that are starting to fade and that are showing rings around the collars…
Dressing well is such a subjective thing. You know what is best for you. Buy the clothes that make you feel really good about yourself. If they are too expensive, save up for them and buy in less quantity. Higher quality clothing usually lasts much longer than cheaper, less expensive ones and they make you feel better.
Show Good Manners
This should go without saying but it’s important to remember. In the beginning with a woman, if she thinks that you don’t have good manners, it will be over before it even starts.
What are some example things you can do to show good manners?
- Be on time.
- Use “please” and “thank you” when appropriate.
- Allow her to go first or order first – whatever the case may be.
- Offer your coat if she’s cold.
- Take a “no” seriously and don’t pressure her.
- Introduce her first. Always consider her first.
- Truly listen to her and provide positive feedback.
- Hold a door open for her.
- Pull a chair out for her if she’s going to sit.
Of course, you get to decide what is appropriate behavior or not – but decide beforehand so that when you’re in the moment with her, you don’t hesitate. Hesitation is a sign of doubt and insecurity. It’s better to be confident and do a questionable thing than to be insecure and do something that you should do for sure…
In our dance classes, we work on how to approach women, how to change partners and how to dance as a couple. Women feel it and immediately know who has good manners and who they should avoid.
It’s a tough job for a woman to find the right guy! Usually, if she’s interested in someone, she will invest a lot of time and energy into figuring out who he really is, and if he’s worthy of her interest.
So, if that’s how it works, make it easier for her! Be authentic. Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and to let her know what you like and what you don’t like about things.
We all want to put our best foot forward in the beginning of any relationship to be accepted, liked and loved by others. That’s just human nature. But being a “yes man” all the time with a woman is not the way to make a good first impression.
If you are too agreeable to everything, she will probably know that you’re hiding your true feelings and then think that you’re not trustworthy because you don’t speak your mind, or even worse, that you don’t have the guts to say what you really think. This is why the “bad boy” types do so much better than nice guys in the beginning, because they don’t care what she thinks, and to the woman, that is better than not knowing what he really thinks!
So, be authentic! Be yourself. Speak your mind. Be real. It’s so much more fun and easier to be yourself than to try to be someone who you are not.
But also realize this…
Who you are is an evolving, expansive, growing being and so don’t be so attached to your beliefs about yourself or how the world works that you cannot change. Change and growth go hand in hand.
From a practical perspective, what this means is that if the girl you are interested in is super convinced of something that is important to her and you don’t agree, don’t be afraid to disagree with her, but also, be open to the idea that she may be right.
Never believe that you are 100% sure of anything in life. Always allow for 1% of new data and information to come in that could change your viewpoint or belief in something. When she realizes that you have strong convictions but are still open to new things based upon new data and information presented to you, then she’ll think that she can influence your beliefs. She may even look at you as a challenge to get you to believe in something that you don’t right now. Bad boy types are attractive to women because of this very phenomenon. The woman believes that she can change him for the better!
There is a fine balance between being authentic and being too stubborn to ever change your mind on anything.
Be strong in your convictions, but flexible and adaptable based on new information…
If you find yourself in a circumstance where you are with a girl who you like, but something has gone wrong, do your best to be positive regardless of what happened. She will admire you for being able to see the bright side of things and realize that if you can be positive in a negative situation, then you must be an overall positive person.
Women want men who can cope with problems. If you get upset in her presence, even if it is justified, she will wonder if you’re the type to get upset easily. And she’ll test you later to see for sure!
Resist the urge to talk about past events that are negative, no matter what they are or how great the story is. The only caveat to this is if you can tell the story in a funny way and get her to laugh. But in general, it’s always best to avoid talking about negative things.
How can you be more positive?
Monitor the thoughts that you have because for most of us, they aren’t positive. Most of them are thoughts of regret from the past and worry about the future. Start talking to yourself in uplifting terms. These are called “positive affirmations.” Make it a daily habit to tell yourself things such as:
- I am good enough.
- I am worthy of all that is good.
- I am attractive.
- I am a good person.
- I am smart enough.
- I can do it.
- I can do anything I set my mind to.
When you start to counteract the negative thoughts in your mind with positive ones, you will develop a more and more positive attitude and women will notice.
Give Her Genuine Compliments
If you want to make a good first impression, find something about her that stands out and compliment her on it. It can be something that she’s wearing, or her knowledge on some topic that’s being discussed. The more that you pay attention to her, the easier it will be to compliment her on something.
But make sure that the compliment is genuine. If you compliment her on something to just score points with her, she will know it and it will backfire. Choose something that isn’t normally noticeable and give her a compliment on it.
Here are some ideas:
- Her handwriting.
- Her ability to defuse an argument amongst friends.
- Her positive attitude in a difficult situation.
- How she treats her mother, father, brother or sister.
- How she treats a homeless person.
- How she treats a stranger/waiter/driver.
- Her smile.
Whatever you notice that strikes you as better than normal, let her know what you think and that will definitely leave a good first impression.
Come and Learn How to Make a Good First Impression
Social dancing is the perfect way to meet new people and to hone your social skills. At Embrazo’s social dance classes you’ll work on your posture and how you interact with women. We teach the wonderful “embrace ceremony”, which is how you embrace a total stranger, with complete confidence. We work on leading, following and being together in the moment.
Once you master these skills, you will make a great first impression on almost any woman.
Join our social dance classes and let’s get started.