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How to Break the Ice with a Girl

Women are a lot easier to approach than you might realize. Just like anyone else, they will usually appreciate any effort you make in order to get a conversation going.

Of course, not all women want all men to strike up a conversation with them at any moment, so it’s important to be able to read the signals she broadcasts.

6 Things That Men Can Do to Break the Ice With Girls 

1. Make Eye Contact to Know That She’s Interested

Women are extremely aware of their surroundings and the people around them. If you look at a woman and she wants you to approach her, she will give you a subtle sign.

It could be a smile, a look, or something in her body language that tells you that she’s interested.

If you can’t get eye contact with her at all and you know that she’s had the chance to do so, she’s probably not interested.

2. Smile and Introduce Yourself

There is nothing wrong with being assertive once you know that she might be interested. For example, if you’re at a party of a mutual friend and you haven’t been introduced, but you want to meet her, simply approach her and say something like, “Hi, I’m Dave. I know John from college. I was just wondering how you know him.” Usually, she’ll be happy to explain the connection.

Then, all you have to do is to carry on the conversation based upon her answer. She might say something like “Nice to meet you Dave! I’m Cindy. John is my cousin. I’m visiting from out of town, and he was nice enough to invite me!” You can then ask her more questions about where she lives, how often she gets to visit, what kind of things she likes to do, or carry on the conversation about the party. It takes practice to not seem like an interrogator.

Be careful not to get too personal too quickly. It’s safer to talk about things you both are experiencing at the party than get into the details of her life. 

3. Be Nice to Her Friends

Women are very loyal to their friends. If you are an outsider and you complain about one of her friends, she’ll probably leave you standing there wondering what you did wrong. 

The best approach is to be respectful, kind and nice to her friends – engage in a conversation with them in order to show her that you have the social skills to interact with them. But don’t do it with the selfish motivation of getting to her. Do it because you really do care about people in general. 

This is an area that you can’t and shouldn’t fake. It’s hard to understand if all you really want is that one girl of your dreams to make you happy, but the truth is, life isn’t about just meeting that one girl, marrying her and then living happily ever after. Life is about having good, strong relationships with lots of people, and exploring the endless possibilities that life has to offer.

Be genuinely curious about other people, and you will not only demonstrate you are worth getting to know better, but you will also meet lots of interesting people!

4. Ask Open Ended Questions and Let Her Do the Talking

There are basically three types of questions:

  • A yes-or-no question
  • A one-word answer question
  • An open-ended question

When you ask too many yes-or-no questions or one-word answer questions, you start to sound like an interrogator. Imagine if you asked questions like, “Do you like chocolate?” or “Do you like Italian food?” or “Where do you live?”  Although those are perfectly fine questions to ask at some point, use them sparingly. Those kinds of questions can make a conversation feel very one-sided where you do all the questioning and she feels like you’ve got a spotlight on her.

Instead, ask open-ended questions that are less intimidating to her and will allow her to open up and talk as much as she wants to. If you hit on something important to her, she may want to talk your ears off, which is not a bad thing! Just make sure that you listen to every word she says and ask her for clarification when you need to. The goal here is to find what things you have in common and get to know her a bit. It may just lead to a first date!

An example of an open-ended question would be something like, “If you could be anywhere in the world right doing anything you wanted, where would it be and what would you be doing?” Open-ended questions cannot be answered with a yes, no or just one word. They invite a conversation to start. Get creative!

Be careful and always read her body language. She might be giving you a hint that she’s not interested, she might not be in the mood to talk, or she might be interested but on the shy side.

5. Listen More than Talk

They say that there’s a reason why you have two ears but only one mouth – we are meant to listen more than talk. Keep that in mind when you attempt to break the ice with a woman. 

One of the things that any woman desires is to be heard and feel understood. Everyone wants it, really. Being a good listener isn’t about just listening to the words she says. It’s listening to the feeling that she emits when she says it. 

Many men are not very intuitive when it comes to listening to women. Usually, he can accurately know what she says, but is oblivious as to what she means. There is a big difference.

If you want to break the ice with any woman, you have to learn to read her body language first. Are her arms crossed? Does she seem friendly and open to you approaching her? Does she give you good eye contact and smile when you approach her? Once you figure that out, it’s just a matter of approaching her and getting her to start talking about something that she likes to talk about. 

6. Ask for Her Opinion

Another way to break the ice is to ask her for her opinion. The great thing about this is you can do it anywhere, such as a grocery or clothing store.

This works well if you truly would like to get her opinion.

Let’s say that you’re at a clothing store and you’re trying to figure out what is the best shirt to go with your blue jeans. If you see a woman in the area who interests you, you could ask something like, “I’m sorry to bother you but could I get your opinion on something?” By asking if you can get her opinion, you’re giving her the option to participate or not. You’re respecting her time and giving her the option to not engage with you.

If she agrees, ask her which shirt she thinks goes best with the jeans you’re wearing. If she says anything about how it compliments your skin or looks, she may be interested back. But if she is short with you or focuses only on the comparison of the two shirts, she’s probably not interested. 

Practice doing it! You’ll get better and better at it over time, and it will come more and more natural to you. Just be sure you are authentic in your questions and interactions.

Social Dancing Makes Breaking the Ice a Lot Easier

Instead of thinking about what to ask and how to get a conversation going, social dancing offers a simpler option.

You break the ice by inviting a girl to dance with you. If she’s interested, she will. Then, instead of talking, you move together to the music. After dancing together, it’s so much easier to have a nice conversation. You already have one shared experience!

In social dancing, you get to practice everything that we talked about here. You’ll start by smiling and introducing yourself. Since it’s a social activity and we switch couples every few minutes, your dream girl will see how you’re interacting with other women on the dance floor. This lets you show that you’re a confident and nice person, without having to brag about yourself.

In dance, just like in life, men lead and listen to what the woman is saying. We listen to her body, not only her words. We practice all this in every class in Embrazo and it’s a lot of fun!

Take the stress out of meeting women and join our dance classes. We think you’ll be very glad you did.