You may have heard of something called the “law of attraction” which many say is the most powerful law in the universe.
It’s actually a very logical, universal law that basically says that things of a similar “vibration” or frequency (or feeling) attract one another. This is why when you start off having a bad day, you’ll attract similar problems throughout the day but if you purposely think better feelings thoughts, you’ll have a better day.
However, when it comes to men, you may be thinking, “Well, the law of attraction doesn’t work because there are lots of men who I have attracted who I did not want!” Although you didn’t want them, you had to have attracted them. But how?
Why Do Women Attract the Wrong Men?
You attract circumstances, people and events that match how you are feeling. This is why women who believe that they aren’t good enough attract men who will support that belief that they have. Therefore, it’s important for you to first work on yourself before you work on attracting the right men into your life.
When you don’t have enough self-confidence, you will attract men who either match that feeling or who will want to take advantage of a woman who feels that way about herself. It’s really an internal thing – you attract who you are already are. This is why many women attract the wrong guys.
You attract what you think about, whether you want it or not. If you think that all men are bad, then you will attract men that are bad. If you feel anger inside about life for whatever reason, you’ll attract angry men to match that “vibration” or feeling. If you feel like a victim of men who are evil, you will keep on attracting them too.
You get what you genuinely feel that you deserve. So, if you feel like you don’t deserve to have a good man, then you won’t attract him. But if you do, you will. It’s that simple!
Many women who attract the wrong men simply don’t have enough self-esteem, and so they let abusive men take advantage of them because that’s what they feel they deserve. And as long as the woman feels bad about herself, no matter how much logic a friend may use to try to help her to get out of the relationship, it won’t matter. She will stay in the abusive relationship because she doesn’t feel good enough about herself to get out.
This is why a lot of women stay in relationships that are not healthy.
But is all this bad news?
The Power of Contrast
The good news is that all your past bad relationships have helped you to become clear as to what you do not want. That’s called contrast. When you are clear as to what “wrong men” are, you become much clearer as to who the “right men” are. So, it’s not all a complete waste of time!
Without contrast in life, you wouldn’t know or understand what you really, truly want. Without contrast, there would be no photograph. Bless the contrast. Bless all your past bad relationships because all of them have helped you decide what you really want in a relationship. But then realize that you’ve got to work on yourself in order to build yourself up and attract the right men. What can you do?
Be Who You Want to Attract
You attract who you are. That’s the bottom line. So, if you want a guy who has his act together, get your act together first. If you want a guy who is happy, has a life, is loyal and true, you be the same. If you want a guy who is well-rounded and has great relationships with his family and friends, be that person too if you can.
The law of attraction works all the time, and the better you feel about yourself, the better chance you have of attracting the right men.
Most of us don’t understand how the law of attraction works. We think, “I’m not going to be happy until I find the love of my life!” The problem with this type of thinking is that you attract everything in your life based upon how you feel.
The way it works is that you attract what you are feeling now. Many self-help gurus like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Bruce Lipton or Dr. Joe Dispenza and others talk about this. We have it all backwards. You create your reality by feeling as if you already have what you want before you have it. If you decide that you’re not going to be happy until the guy of your dreams manifests, you will end up waiting forever, according to the law of attraction.
The easiest way to attract him is to feel as if he is already here. When he sees how happy you already are, he’ll naturally and organically be attracted to you.
Pretend He’s Already Here
How would you feel if the guy of your dreams was already here? How would you act? How much happier would you be then?
Neville Goddard was a popular self-help author and he said that to manifest what you want; you have to create the feeling of the wish fulfilled before it could come. Although he was mainly focused on material things and money, this concept can be perfectly applied to relationships too.
Daydreaming about the right man is a great way to get into the feeling of what it would feel like to have him in your life already. Imagine doing fun things with him. And imagine doing mundane things but feeling very happy.
Take just 5 minutes a day. Get into a comfortable place, and just close your eyes and imagine being with the perfect guy of your dreams. See yourself and him laughing and having fun. Really get into the feeling of it. And don’t visualize in order to manifest him – visualize him for the pleasure of visualizing. When you force yourself to do it and it doesn’t feel good to you, you cannot create the right vibe to attract him.
Self confidence is a great attractor factor. If you want to attract a man who is self-confident, don’t you think he would want the same thing in a partner? Self-confidence shows that you value yourself, that you are not afraid to go after what you want in life, and that you have a general positive view of yourself and life.
Men prefer women who are self-confident too. It’s not just women who like a self-confident guy.
Self-confidence is an inside job. It’s something that you must cultivate within yourself. The way to build self-confidence is to simply stop saying any negative thoughts to yourself and replace them with positive thoughts. It’s not as easy as it sounds but if you focus on improving how you feel through your thoughts, you can build more and more self-confidence.
The other way to build self-confidence is to do things that you want to do but have been afraid to do in the past. When you do what you want to do and do it with or without fear, you build self-confidence. And when you do something that before you were too afraid to even try, with time, it gets easier and easier, and that builds self-confidence.
One of the keys to building self-confidence is not caring what other people think anymore. If, for example, you’re a great singer, but you’re afraid to try to sing for a friend, family or in a public setting, it’s because you’re afraid of what people might say. Do it anyway! Sing anyway. Stop caring what others think and do the things that you were afraid of before. Life is too short to be worried or fearful of what others think.
Over time, you’ll gain more and more confidence in yourself in all aspects of life.
Both men and women sometimes make the mistake of getting into a relationship and losing who they really are – they put their own life on hold to support the other.
Don’t do that! Just like with the tree, if you’re not growing, you’re dying. And eventually what will happen is if you give up all of your own dreams in life for your boyfriend, you will start to resent him and then want out of the relationship. The temptation will be to blame him for everything, and leave. The other ironic thing about putting your boyfriend’s needs, wants and desires ahead of your own is that in the long run, he will start to disrespect you for giving up your own life and not following your own path. It’s a lose/lose situation that you can easily make a win/win if you simply be a little more selfish in your own life and follow your own path and dreams.
Of course, there are exceptions to this as there is with everything. The only point is to be careful not to stop your own life for anybody. You both should pursue what you want in life, and if the relationship works out, great! If it doesn’t, then that’s great too because it means that you have more contrast and are once again clearer as to what you want in a relationship.
Usually, men are not observant enough to even realize what you might sacrifice to be with them. The best relationships are when he honors, respects, and supports your own path in life, and you do the same thing for him.
Don’t stop living your life just because he came into yours. And if he’s demanding and wants you to stop growing, get out of the relationship early while it’s easy.
Show him that you have a life and show him how passionate you are about whatever you are passionate about. When he sees how passionate you are about anything that you choose, the right type of guy will get excited and passionate about it too. If he’s the wrong type of guy, he won’t and so you can use that as a way to tell if he’s worth your time or not.
Closely related to growing is being independent. You don’t want to give your guy the feeling that you’re needy or jealous. Be independent. The best relationships are when both of you have great lives apart when you must be, and great lives together when you can. Be independent of him. Be strong. Don’t give him the feeling that you need him to be in your life or else everything will fall apart.
The movies do a huge dis-service to all of us. Tom Cruise says in the movie Jerry Maguire, “You complete me.” No one should complete you. You are already 100% complete. If you’re not 100% complete right now, then take a little more time to work on yourself before you get into a relationship. The best relationships happen when both partners are whole and complete first. Then when they come together, there is no unhealthy co-dependency going on.
Being independent means the inverse of being dependent. It’s the opposite. Be strong. Be independent and be happy. That will help you to attract the right guys.
Once you have worked on yourself and gotten yourself into a good feeling place relative to finding the right guy, take action! Put yourself out there. Go out and have fun. Put yourself into social situations where you can meet the right men.
The problem is that choices are limited. You can go to a club or a bar, but even that is limited now that authorities worldwide have closed down most clubs and bars. This is why we at Embrazo’s dance classes think we have the perfect solution…
Join a Social Dance Class
A social dance class is a great place to meet the right men. At Embrazo’s social dance class we take the extra step for both men and women to meet one another in a safe and fun setting. The men are taught how to read the women, and women are taught how to attract the right men. Our social dance classes attract the right type of men because these are guys who truly want to learn how to treat a lady right.
Women want the best guys to approach them. For this, the woman needs to send the right signals to the right people. First, by the nature of social dancing, men and women have a chance of dancing with each other. We switch couples every few minutes, so every woman will have the opportunity to spend a few minutes with every man – including that one who she likes the most. Having this opportunity already solves the biggest challenge.
Then, both men and women can be attracted to one another without saying one word and without causing the other to be uncomfortable.
We dance very simple moves, so nobody is worried about making a mistake or stepping on each other’s toes. Women who embrace firmly and elegantly, who “feel” their partners moves and who know how to move in harmony are so much more attractive to the right men than those who don’t.
Then, when it’s time to switch partners, a simple smile will do the trick. If you like a guy, just smile at him as he thanks you for the dance and you’re all set.
At Embrazo, we take the stress out of helping men and women attract the right partners.
Join now and easily find the right men!